POSITIVELY HILARIOUS NEGATIVE POLITICAL CAMPAIGNS

Can you feel the excitement? Can you taste the anticipation? Can you hear the camaraderie?

It’s October of an even numbered year, and you know what that means: election season is here! (I know, try to contain yourself).

Now I’m an American, a Millennial and I like to vote (a lot of that has to do with Blink 182’s “The Anthem Part 2” and Eminem’s “Mosh” #RockTheVote), but something I absolutely cannot stand are political ads.

A politician or PAC releasing a creative ad is as uncommon as bipartisanship on Capitol Hill these days. Most revert to the absolute worst: mudslinging campaigns. According to the most infallible source on the World Wide Web, Wikipedia, campaigns have been going negative with ads since 1936 (this does not include debates), and perhaps it’s time we stop the madness. When politicians go negative, it’s just not a good look. Is it me or would you rather a person tell you why you should vote for them, not have them tell you why you shouldn’t vote for the other person. At the end of the day, it just sounds like, “vote for me because I’m obviously the lesser of two evils.” Sweet land of liberty, that just makes me want to race straight to the polling place to cast my ballot.

I miss the class president elections; little Joey stood up and told us why he would make an awesome class president, not why someone else wouldn’t. (It’s possibly important to note that little Joey ran unopposed; however, he would have run a clean campaign either way. This was a Catholic school).

Unfortunately, adults don’t run their campaigns like children do (what a shame kids can’t run since I would totally consider voting for Kid President). Instead, we end up having to sit through a 30-second “don’t vote for this lair, cheater, stealer who murdered (a fly) and once smoked pot as a child, because my opponent is the Antichrist (or just really bad depending on your religious beliefs)” in order to get back to this week’s episode of Awkward, or whatever programs non-Millennials watch.

But me, I’m a realistic-optimist constantly in search of silver linings, so I have indeed found one for negative campaigns: they’re so bad they’re hilarious. Once you take away from the fact that these immature politicians will make up 1/3rd of the checks and balances that run this country, decide which one of their pockets hard-earned tax dollars should go and are probably spying on us all because NSA, politicians are pretty funny (not in the “I like you, I really like you” way). And whether you’re a Democrat or Republican, Independent or Libertarian, Tea Party-er or a legitimate candidate, your mudslinging ads are all hilariously bad.

So for today’s Funny Friday, we’re featuring 10 hilariously ridiculous political ads (and we’re throwing something in for everyone, except anarchists because we need an organized military or else who will fight Ebola?).

Mudslinger: Roger Williams Attacking: Democrats and Donkeys

Mudslinger: President Barack Obama Attacking: Mitt Romney Stopping Subsidies to PBS AKA Big Bird

Mudslinger: Dale Peterson Attacking: His Opponents, Especially “Dummie” Norman Grace and His Facebook

After he conceded to his fellow Republican, he released this gem (and yes, he uses the word “dummie” again).

Mudslinger: Tammy Baldwin Attacking: Tommy Thompson

This one made this list because it’s as nonsensical as everyone who believes President Obama should show the public his birth certificate.

Mudslinger: Cory Gardner Attacking: “Nice Guy” Mark Udall and THE SENATE

Mudslinger: Nancy Pelosi Attacking: The “Poor Baby” Stephen Colbert and his Super PAC

Okay, this one is satirical, but she is calling out super PACs and throwing her support behind the DISCLOSE Act.

And Speaking of PACs…

Mudslinger: Revolutionary PAC Attacking: Any republican with the gall to go up against Ron Paul, particularly Romney and Rick Perry

Mudslinger: Brave New PAC and Democracy for America Attacking: John McCain’s Melanoma in Remission

Mudslinger: The Campaign for American Values PAC Attacking: President Obama

Mudslinger: John Hickenlooper Attacking: Negative Ads

At least there’s one politician out there who wont go negative… except against negative campaigning.

Cover Photo Source: Gutzemberg​

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